Q: Managing New School Year Anxiety with Conscious Parenting

Hi Elizabeth,

My 7-year-old is starting second grade and has always had a big imagination and a unique style. But lately, she’s started saying things like, “I don’t want kids to think I’m weird.” It’s heartbreaking. I want her to feel proud of who she is, but I also know it’s normal to want to fit in. How do I help her hold on to her confidence as she grows?

— Creative Kiddo’s Mom, Austin TX

Dear Creative Kiddo’s Mom,

I love your question because it hits on the growth that comes with starting a new school year while integrating what we’ve learned about ourselves from the year before. Kids change and evolve so much during the school year but summer break is the perfect time to get to know themselves away from the day-to-day school routines. It’s normal for your child to question how she might be perceived by others as she enters a new school year as well as another phase of her childhood. I’ve heard similar comments from my own twins about being “different” or “weird” and it can be difficult to hear those words because they can trigger our own experience or touch a nerve that we might not be prepared for.

What I suggest is going a little deeper with this comment and having a heart to heart about what she feels makes her different or weird. You might discover that what she’s really seeking is reassurance about her qualities. When we’re striving to fit in it’s often at a compromise to our true selves, and what makes us unique. While it may be tempting to conform at school, make sure she knows that all of her qualities are welcome at home and it’s a safe place for her to be whoever she needs to be. Remind her that her friendships are important but honoring her true-self is what matters most. Real friends will support her exactly as she is and she may discover that what makes her feel different is exactly what makes her stand apart from the rest.

This is exactly why I wrote “Me Is All I Want To Be”. It's a story that reminds kids they don’t have to change to belong and that being yourself is the best adventure of all! It may not be easy but being someone else to please others is a lot harder. It reminds me of my favorite quote in the book “you have to get uncomfortable sometimes to find out who you really are” - Swish the Fish

Good luck with the new school year and remember, your home is the safest place for your child to be whoever they need to be.

With,

_____