"Things are changing so fast … and I don’t like it."

These words were sweetly and vulnerably uttered by my daughter Chloe, who felt emotional after getting her braces on. She was reflecting on how she is at the precipice of teen-dom, and she wasn’t ready for it, and wanted to reject it all-out. 

It wasn’t just Chloe feeling the swell of change lapping at her feet; my son Jacob had also been lamenting about how he feels sad that he is growing up and that his childhood feels like it’s set to a date and about to expire. “I don’t want to grow up; I want to stay a kid," he says and repeats often. What’s a mom to do?

When my twins feel the vulnerability of change and the rapid growth they are both going through, I scramble to try and think of the right words to say because honestly, I wish I could find the pause button on their rapid growth. It’s something most parents struggle with, the transformation from babyhood, to toddler, to child, to teen is fleeting. When you’re in the throes of it, it’s all about surviving the phases that each stage comes with while trying to hold steady along the bumpy parenting path. Whether we’re juggling multiple children or a single child, we have to meet an endless amount of change in the moment that we’re never really prepared for. I often liken parenthood to a marathon with no breaks. Everything is in motion, and the finish line keeps moving from one phase to the next.

As Chloe’s eyes swelled and her voice shook, I took that tender moment to remind her (and myself) that things are constantly growing and changing and can sometimes be overwhelming but it will be okay. I held her as I told her that she was allowed to feel the sadness that was surfacing at the moment, and in fact, it is best that she does. “Let it out”, I said to her, cry and let yourself feel sad if you need to but don’t let it take away from your beautiful and full life. You may be growing up but you are also becoming who you are meant to be and that is a gift to the world.

Since we can’t stop time, we can slow it down and appreciate the moments our heart wants to open up and feel it all. It’s bittersweet and full of beauty. And maybe that’s the quiet gift of parenting: to stand still in the rushing current of change, to let our children know it’s okay to grieve the growing while still leaning into the wonder of what’s next. We can’t promise them forever, but we can promise them here and now, and in the end, maybe that’s what makes the fleeting moments feel infinite.

What about you? Have your kids ever shared words that made you stop and feel the speed of time? I’d love to hear the moments that caught your heart.

Love,